So this weekend we have a wedding to go to, a personal friend of George's. This friend of his has known this woman for maybe six months and they are getting married. Good for them I think...but bad for me. I am having a really hard time being happy for them, when all I want is for George to make that commitment to me too. Why is that so hard for him? It's a $5k ring we even have looked at several...but no purchase yet. Just looking doesn't mean we have to buy.
Does he think I will stop having sex with him, or cleaning the house or helping out around the yard. Newsflash: I am not doing those things now because I want a ring. I like a clean house and I like sex (I know some women don't) but I really do! I love the tractor and the accomplishment of a clean mowed yard, in fact I might not even need to write this if I had some grass to mow...LOL.
I wish I would have known 4 years ago that he didn't want to be married. I may not have hung on this long....or would I? I can't leave now, because every part of my being is involved. I'm in love this man. 99.9% of the time we are a very happy couple, we laugh a lot, we never fight, we work well together. Neither one of us thought it would really last this long.
Some things drive me a little crazy: he watches a lot of re-runs, we've seen The Andy Griffith show and The Twlight Zone a thousand times, we have a cooler in our living room (don't ask), we have stuff we don't need or use. Plus I don't think like him, duh I am a woman he is a man which drives him crazy. But at the end of the day I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else, and I know he loves me, especailly since he doesn't know where any of his stuff is anymore (it's been organized, he he).
So should I give an ultimatum "you better marry me or else." That's not who I am, my mom and dad never raised me with the idea that you better clean your room or we won't love you.
Maybe I could have some surgery which would take away those "I want to marry" feelings. I don't want to live in an "active community for seniors" someday with my boyfriend. What do you call one another after a certain amount of time? Lifemate (sounds gay), boyfriend, soulmate, significant other, lover or how his mother puts it: friend.
Hopefully there is a lot of alcohol at this wedding...so I to can be happy for the "happy couple".
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